Lectionary Calendar
Sunday, June 2nd, 2024
the Week of Proper 4 / Ordinary 9
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Luke 6

Jesus Is Lord of the Day of Rest

1 On one particular day of rest, Jesus was riding through a farmer's field. His cowboys picked some grains of wheat, rubbed their hands together and ate the kernels. 2 Some Pharisees said, "Why are you breaking the Law of the day of rest by picking grain?"

3 Jesus answered, "Don't you remember when the guys who were with David got hungry? 4 He went into the church and took the holy bread they use for ceremonies. Now you and I both know that the bread can only be eaten by the preachers, but David gave it to his men." 5 Then Jesus told 'em, "The Top Hand is the Lord of the day of rest."

6 On another day of rest, Jesus was giving a clinic in a church and a man with a crippled hand was there. 7 The Code teachers and the Pharisees were watching to see if Jesus would heal this guy. They wanted something to use against Jesus. 8 But Jesus knew what they were thinking and so he said to the man, "Stand up, pard." And the guy stood up. 9 Then Jesus asked everyone, "What is right on the day of rest? To do good or to do evil? To help someone or just let them suffer?" 10 Jesus paused for dramatic effect and made sure everyone was watching as he said, "Show me your hand." When the guy raised his hand up, it was healed.

11 But them religious fellas got a burr under their skin about what Jesus had said and done. They all conspired with each other on how they could take him out.

Jesus Chooses His Cowboys

12 After all this, Jesus rode up into the mountains to pray. He spent the whole night talking to his Dad. 13 The next day, he gathered all his followers to him and announced they were going to be his cowboys: 14 Simon (Jesus changed it to Pete), his brother Andy, James, John, Phil, Bart, 15 Matt, Tom, Alphaeus's boy James, Simon the Fanatic, 16 James's boy Judas, and Judas Iscariot, who would later double-cross his Boss.

Some Blessings and Warnings

17 Jesus and his cowboys came off the mountain and a large group of other people who rode with them were waiting. They were from all over Judea, Jerusalem, Tyre, and Sidon. 18 They all came to listen to Jesus's clinics on how to ride for God and be healed of the cankers, cancers, and even their demons. 19 Everyone mashed in trying to touch him because everyone who did was healed.

20 Jesus looked out over the crowd and said, "Everyone who is poor is blessed, because God has given his outfit to you. 21 You people who are hungry are blessed, because it is y'all who will be filled. You folks who are crying are blessed, because one day soon you will smile and laugh."

22 Jesus continued, "It's going to be rough going for those of you who ride for me. You'll be hated, insulted, and even shut out because of your decision. But when this happens, you will be blessed. 23 Even in the darkest of these moments you can smile because your reward in heaven will outweigh any problem down here. And you aren't alone in your trials and trails. They did the same things to God's hands while they rode down here.

24 "But a bad day is comin' for those of you who are rich, because you've had life so easy. 25 A bad day is comin' for those of you who are full, because one day you're going to starve. A bad day is comin' for those who laugh at misery, because one day you will be bawlin' like a baby.

26 "The worst part will be if everyone says only good things about you. False prophets are never criticized.

Love Your Haters

27 "But to those who are actually listening, I tell you to love your haters. Give a hand to those who hate you. 28 Bless those who cuss you. Pray for those who pick on you. 29 If someone slaps you, don't fight back out of anger. If someone steals your jacket, take him your shirt. 30 Give to anyone who asks you, and if someone takes something that ain't theirs, don't go trying to get it back. 31 Treat others the way you want God to treat you. 32 If you're only cordial to nice people, you ain't going to get a cookie for good behavior. Even sinners love folks who love them. 33 If you only help those who help you, what do you expect? Even sinners do that! 34 If you only loan, and never give, what praise do you think you deserve? Even sinners loan stuff out to get something in return. 35 Love your haters, do good to 'em, and lend to 'em without expecting nothin' in return. Then, and only then, will you be gettin' that big reward from God. To those who do this, God will call them his sons because he is kind, even to those who are ungrateful and live in sin. 36 Dole out mercy, just as the Boss is merciful to you.

A Word about Judgin'

37 "Don't judge others harshly, and God won't judge you harshly. If you go around telling others how guilty they are, then God will point out just how guilty you are. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 What you give is what you will receive. But you will receive even more than you give. Your blessings will overflow in your life and run out into your lap. The way you give to others is the way the Boss will give it back to you."

39 Jesus then told 'em this story, "Can the blind lead the blind in canyon country? No! They'll both fall off a cliff. 40 A new cowboy is not better than the top hand who teaches him, but the student can eventually become like him. 41 Why do you laugh at the way a guy rides when you ain't been on a horse in twenty years? 42 You think you can give pointers, but it's him that's ridin', not you. Quit being such a hypocrite! Get the log out of your own eye before you worry about the sand in someone else's eye.

Different Fruits

43 "A good tree don't make bad fruit, and a bad tree don't make good fruit. 44 You can tell what kind of tree it is by what kind of fruit it bears. You don't gather mangos from mesquite, and you don't get cantaloupes from cactus. 45 Good folks share good things from their hearts. Bad folks wreak havoc out of the havoc they have in their hearts. The words you speak tell the truth about your heart.

Two Kinds of Cowboys

46 "Why do you call me Boss, but don't do what I tell you to do? 47 Listen as I tell you what it's like when someone rides for me and does what I tell him to. 48 That person is like a cowboy who cinches his horse down tight. When he ropes a bull and the bull tries to pull him over, his saddle stays put because he cinched down tight like I told him to. 49 But the cowboy who hears me, but keeps on riding with a loose cinch will eventually hit the ground. As soon as he ropes something, his saddle is turned and he falls off."

 
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