the Third Week after Easter
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Daily Devotionals
Bowen's Daily Meditations
"And beginning to sink he cried, Lord, save me." - Matthew 14:30.
I thought myself to be strong in faith, and rejoiced in thy command to evince that strength. I thought I would show how much stronger my faith than that of others; and while they abode quietly in their vessel, I would tread the waters beneath my feet and hasten unto Jesus. I would put away from me at least the reproach sometimes addressed to us disciples of being weak in faith. But it was simple presumption. Now that the waves lift up themselves around about me, saying, " Jesus we know, but who art thou? and threaten me with the full force of that majesty with which God has invested them, I find my supposed faith vanishing. Death himself has seized me by my feet, and is dragging me down to a horrible abyss.
Lord, save me! Higher than these waves arise the thoughts of my past folly and sinfulness. A light seems to flash along the multitudinous pages of past history, bringing into strongest relief the instances of waywardness, passion, self-will, neglect of instruction, pride and unbelief. I see myself as I never saw myself; and I see that the light in which I now stand revealed, is the very light in which my Lord has long sought to exhibit me to myself. I only now am learning a lesson that has been held up before me a thousand times.
Lord, save me, for I sink! I acknowledge, I feel, my helplessness. Thou mightest, indeed, still keep thine eye fixed on my past exhibition of independence towards God; and instead of my present cry, thou mightest justly hear former exclamations, contemning salvation. Oh! hear them not, remember them not. In this tumult of the waves it seems as though they were clamorous, those former utterances of an unbelieving and ungodly heart; clamorous more than ever to be heard in this very moment; and as though my poor present cry out of the depth could not possibly make its way to thee. Nevertheless, save me. Save me from going down into the pit.
Thou wilt say unto me perhaps, " If I save thee in this hour, what assurance have I that thy former mind will not return to thee? If I pluck thee from this death, wilt thou not soon be rushing again, in thy presumptuous self-confidence, along the path of death?" Well, Lord, thou must find the assurance in thyself - in thy power not only to save me from this horrible abyss, but from future dereliction, from a vain heart, from unbelief and self-dependence. Save me from all.
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