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Sunday, June 2nd, 2024
the Week of Proper 4 / Ordinary 9
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Luke 18

The Widow Who Never Gave Up

1 One day Jesus told a story to his twelve cowboys to teach them about prayer and never givin' up. 2 He said, "There was a judge in a town, and this fellow didn't like God or people. 3 But there was this one lady who felt like she had been wronged who came to him every day and asked for justice to be done for her. 4 For a while, he brushed her off with a gruff rebuttal and sent her on her way, but this woman wouldn't give up. 5 Finally, just to be rid of her, the judge did what she wanted because he was tired of seeing and hearing from her every single day."

6 And then Jesus said, "See what a godless judge will do for those who never give up? 7 So if even a no-good sorry judge will dispense justice, how much more will our loving God hear our pleas that we cry out for day and night? Will he just turn a blind eye to his kids? 8 God is going to help his kids right away. But when the Top Hand comes riding into town, will he find anyone with faith?"

The Crooked Brand Inspector and the Religious Fellow

9 Then Jesus told 'em this story of a guy who depended on his own goodness and shunned everyone else, 10 "Two guys went into the church to pray. One was a religious fellow, and the other was a brand inspector. 11 The religious fellow thought he was better than other people, so he stayed away from everyone else and prayed, 'Thank you, God, for not making me like the lowlife cheaters, sinners, and fornicators. And a special thank you for not making me like that crooked brand inspector over there. 12 God, I go without food twice a week, and I tithe religiously.'

13 "But the crooked brand inspector stood a far piece away from everyone else because he didn't feel worthy. He wouldn't even look at heaven as he prayed. Instead, he dug his fingernails into his palm as he prayed, 'God, I'm a sorry piece of work. Please take me onto your outfit even though we both know I don't deserve it.'"

Jesus continued, 14 "I'm telling you the truth cowboys, this crooked brand inspector was right in God's eyes, not that religious fellow. Those who pat themselves on their back will end up flat on their back. And those who cry out to God with their face down in sorrow will be lifted up to heaven."

Jesus and Some Kids

15 One day some parents brought their kids to see Jesus so he could bless them. As they all huddled around Jesus, his twelve cowboys started trying to shoo everyone away.

16 Then Jesus said, "Whoa, what do y'all think you are doing? Kids are always welcome on my Daddy's outfit. It belongs to children like these. 17 I'm telling you the truth. Unless you can have the faith of a little kid, you'll never end up on my spread."

You Can't Buy or Earn God's Outfit

18 A religious leader once asked Jesus, "Hey Good Cowboy, how could I live forever?"

19 "What makes you think I'm good?" Jesus asked. "Only the Boss is truly good. 20 But to answer your question, you know what the Code says, 'Don't jack with another man's Jenny. Don't murder people in cold blood. Don't be a thief. Don't slander anyone. And do what your ma and pa tell you to.'"

21 The guy puffed out his chest in self-congratulations and said, "Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt."

22 When Jesus saw his actions and heard his words, he said, "But you've got one thing left to do to secure your spot in God's outfit. Give everything you have to the poor and then come and ride for me. Then you will have treasure in heaven."

23 But when the fellow heard this, his shoulders sank low. He was a rich guy, and he knew he wasn't about to give away all of his wealth for any reason.

24 Jesus saw what was happening and said, "It's going to be nearly impossible for a rich guy to get into heaven. 25 As a matter of fact, it'd be easier for a Charolais bull to fit through a cinch ring than for a rich man to squeeze into God's outfit."

26 Everyone around him gasped, and they all asked, "Then who will get in?"

27 Jesus said, "It is impossible for man to get in on his own, but all things are possible with God."

28 Then Pete spoke up and said, "We've left everything behind to ride for you."

29 Jesus said, "Here's a guarantee for y'all, there ain't a single person who will give up a ranch, wife, brothers, parents, or children in order to saddle up and ride for God's outfit 30 that won't get back much, much more in return in this life and the next."

Jesus Talks about His Death—Again

31 Jesus rode off a little ways with his twelve cowboys and said, "Listen, we're getting close to Jerusalem. Everything that the old cowboys of God talked about concerning the Top Hand are fixing to come true. 32 He will be double-crossed by one of his cowboys and handed over to the Romans where 33 they will beat him, spit on him, make fun of him, whip him, and ultimately kill him. But three days later, he's going to come riding back into town."

34 But the cowboys didn't understand what he was talking about. Jesus's words were hidden from them. His words went in one ear and right out the other.

Fixin' the Blind

35 As Jesus was ridin' into Jericho, a blind beggar was sitting beside the trail. 36 When he heard many people passing by, he hollered out and asked what was going on. 37 They told him Jesus was coming into town. 38 He jumped up and started waving his arms and yelling, "Jesus, Son of David, show me your mercy. I beg you!"

39 Now this fellow was causing a ruckus. People around him told him to sit down and shut up. But the guy only yelled louder and louder.

40 Jesus pulled up to a stop and turned around. He told some people to bring the blind man to him. When they did, Jesus looked down and said, 41 "What do you want me to do for you?"

"Lord," he said, "will you fix my eyes?"

42 And Jesus said, "Your eyes have been fixed. Your faith has fixed you." 43 Immediately, the blind guy could see again. He followed behind Jesus, praising God just as loud as he had cried for help. And everyone who saw this, their eyes were opened too.

 
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